Totally changing gears here, but I wrote this poem a while back, and wanted some opinions.
When you're feeling down; when you're feeling sad, there's nothing you can do but continuously frown. You've hit rock-bottom, become depressed; you feel that you're tired of that never-ending quest. 'What shall I do?' you ask yourself. 'Shall I repress? Put it up on a shelf?'
Life is a dark room from which you can't escape. You're trapped, confined. Nowhere to run. You tried to scream, but no sound came out. No one can hear. You live in fear.
'What shall I do? you ask again. Then out of nowhere, some men appeared! 'What is this place? Where are you taking me?'
It's too bright. You cannot see. There's no reason to fight. You'll never flee. You screamed so loud, and when you cried with utter grief, they all stared with disbelief. Your life flashes before your eyes. It's all so clear, you're discovering all the lies. It's all coming back, you're mind is now clear. You remember your life that was, to you, so dear.
The room is dark for only one reason. Those men will take you to only one place. Remember that gun in the suitcase? The trigger was so enchanting, the temptation could not be fought. You admired how well it was molded, but forgot that it was loaded!
Now you are six feet under, because of that one tiny blunder. Now you'll never know the sensation...the one you get...from fighting temptation.
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There you have it! So what do you think?
1 comment:
That poem is well written. I'm not a huge fan of metered verse, so i liked the form. The subject is a tough one. Suicide is an bad choice- the only one that ends all choices. It has occurred to me that many people who would never harm a soul consider taking their own lives; how foolish. To end anyone's life is a terrible mistake. The only thing greater than suicide is taking someone else's life, i think; because you take their opportunity to choose and to change as opposed to your own. The fear that leads to suicidal thoughts (from my experience) is the idea that there are no doors from that room; that 'aloneness' is the only option. Know that it is not. I think there are always others looking for you, but maybe all they see is those walls. Know that if you take your mind off of the walls and focus on reasons to live instead of reasons not to, maybe someone will begin to see through the walls. Love is a light that shines through the walls we build, but we can blind ourselves to it. I dunno. Just a few thoughts. The poem is good. Being a man who has struggled and is now 'in the pit' with despair, I relate. But never will I take a life, not even my own. Thanks for checking out my blog. Please return, and tell me what you think of the artwork in the slideshow... and keep looking up, remember we go through alienation to allow us to help others.
by the way you are my first commenter. thank you.
dan
http://driftnomore.blogspot.com/
http://www.myspace.com/artistdanman
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