This issue is not restricted to the Egyptian borders, but is in fact an international problem, that many developing countries suffer from. The practice of Female Circumcision or Female Genital Mutilation (FGM) is as old as time, and believe it or not, is still a common practice today. According to a statistic I read online, 6000 women are mutilated every day across the globe, with no sign of stopping any time soon.

It's beyond me how people can still think that this practice is in any way beneficial to a girl. It takes anyone to see the emotional and physical trauma that these 7 or 8 year old girls have to endure against their will. Is it that people simply choose to ignore the side-effects because in not doing it they would be going against their country's culture and traditions? Or are they truly clueless as to the damage they are doing to these poor girls?

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that FGM causes psychological damage, difficulty in menstruation, complications in pregnancy and childbirth, sexual dysfunction and inability to have or derive pleasure from sexual intercourse, and many more. Then why is it so common? I think the look of terror on that little girl's face in the picture is more than enough proof that it's not the right way to go.

The roots of FGM are numerous, yet the most common is people's misunderstanding of religion. Meaning, their belief that it's a religious doctrine when in fact, it isn't. The religious figures to which these ignorant people look up to seem to not know their religion well enough to tell its followers the truth, so it became something engraved in their culture rather than just being a religious requirement. And when culture is involved, people become very inflexible and unwilling to go against the flow or risk be damned by society - they're simply trying to fit in.

In short, FGM is a practice that should have been abolished ages ago, and considered a felony punishable by law. It's sad that people actually do this to their own daughters, when it's so destructive to them as individuals.

Fighting Temptation

Totally changing gears here, but I wrote this poem a while back, and wanted some opinions.

When you're feeling down; when you're feeling sad, there's nothing you can do but continuously frown. You've hit rock-bottom, become depressed; you feel that you're tired of that never-ending quest. 'What shall I do?' you ask yourself. 'Shall I repress? Put it up on a shelf?'

Life is a dark room from which you can't escape. You're trapped, confined. Nowhere to run. You tried to scream, but no sound came out. No one can hear. You live in fear.

'What shall I do? you ask again. Then out of nowhere, some men appeared! 'What is this place? Where are you taking me?'

It's too bright. You cannot see. There's no reason to fight. You'll never flee. You screamed so loud, and when you cried with utter grief, they all stared with disbelief. Your life flashes before your eyes. It's all so clear, you're discovering all the lies. It's all coming back, you're mind is now clear. You remember your life that was, to you, so dear.

The room is dark for only one reason. Those men will take you to only one place. Remember that gun in the suitcase? The trigger was so enchanting, the temptation could not be fought. You admired how well it was molded, but forgot that it was loaded!

Now you are six feet under, because of that one tiny blunder. Now you'll never know the sensation...the one you get...from fighting temptation.

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There you have it! So what do you think?

Common Law

A common law marriage or Jawaz Orfy in Arabic is defined as a marriage contract between a man and a woman which is recognized by Islam, but not by the Government. It's most common among university students like myself when people are too horny to think straight. I've seen a few of my classmates drop out of college to support a child which resulted from such a marriage, or to simply run away with the "bride" to escape having to face society with the taboo of having been part of such a thing.
The difference between this and a regular teen pregnancy is that a common law marriage either results in a back alley abortion, or a forced government-recognized marriage contract signed before the pregnancy becomes visible. Either way, it's a life sentence of people talking about you behind your back, and the end of whatever normal life the child would have had.

Many people praise Common Law Marriage because it serves as an outlet for teenagers to relese pent-up frustration, and is generally theraputic, although people who hold such an opinion are a minority. Others, the overwhelming majority, claim that it is an unholy union that should be abolished because it can only do harm. In either case, the end result is always the same. The couple is always too afraid and thus abort any resulting pregnancy, the "groom" freaks out and abandons the mother of his child, who becomes devastated now that she has no one to turn to, and if the families become involved, abortion is the only concievable solution to the problem - after which they would worry about the girl's tarnished innocence and virginity, and search for a man willing to marry such a woman.

What are your views on the issue?

Here is an article about one of the most famous of these marriages, check it out if you're interested. It will provide more information on the issue in case I left anything out.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/4295911.stm

Back too soon..

I'm back! and in case you didn't get the title, I'm back a little too soon.
To tell you the truth, I had no idea that Egypt had such beautiful places like that, not to mention the amazingly beautiful coral reefs (i couldn't get enough of those!). The only downside was the looooooong 12 hour ride back!

Other than the fact that I realized that Italians are alot more conservative than most other Europian nationalities, two things really stood out.

First, while sitting peacefully on the sand sun-bathing (or rather shade-bathing, because my skin is pretty sensitive to the sun) I noticed a group of Egyptian teens of about 17 like myself sitting a few feet away from me. Beer and cigarettes in hand(as long as you have money, being underage doesn't matter), talking trash about every woman who passes by. I know, since I'm their age and know what they think, that they're merely trying (very hard I might add) to westernize. I think that the difference between westerners and us is that the former live what the Egyptians try to imitate on a daily basis, so they know their own limits, but when we try it, we take it to a whole new level. The three Egyptian teens looked wasted at only 2 PM and were coughing like crazy after all those cigarettes (30 pounds a pack too!).
As for their stares and comments about the girls passing by, I found that to be pretty ordinary behavior - they don't need to be drunk to do that, although I would have liked them to do it with local girls instead of the fireigners; it gives them a really bad impression.

Another group of people sitting close to me, only older, was also interesting to watch. There was nothing wrong with them per say, but it was just my first time to see something of the sort. Three woman, all local, were approached by three local men, strangers, I assumed. Within 15 minutes they were getting drunk and playfully cuddling. All I could think of at the time was: "Someone's getting lucky tonight!" - which they probably did.
Of course, to each his/her own; and I'm not one to stick my nose into other people's business, but I found it appalling that people could get so close without even knowing each other at all. Or am I thinking too much?

One last thing I noticed was that I was a lot more comfortable around the foreigners. Everyone was minding thir own business and I didn't have to think twice before doing anything because of the things that people might say. The foreigners didn't seem to care about what the teenagers were doing, and simply walked by without a second thought. However, the Egyptian women seemed intent on hiding from me; looking or moving away, hiding the beers bottles, etc... which is what people around here do on a daily basis. I wonder why people can't just mind their own business? (It's pretty hard to do that when the people around you are so loud about their business, so sometimes I can't help but at least eavesdrop.)

Anyway, sorry about the long post. Hope you find it interesting...

Sharm Al Sheikh

Well, I'm not going to be here for the next 4 days. I'm going to a sea-side resort in Sharm Al Sheikh (as much as I hate the beach, I couldn't refuse a full board 4 star hotel, haha). Well, I'll be in the haven of all that is unholy - even surrounded by hundreds of foreigners from all over the world, the local "conservativism" prevails, yet it's not as strong as in any regular city - so I guess I'll have some interesting stuff to talk about when I get back.
I just hope it doesn't get cancelled like last time and I end up looking like a complete idiot on my own blog. Well, see ya!

I've never been fond of statistics, beause you an never know how accurately a given sample can represent a population. But today I was proven wrong. I didn't read about a statistic, but watched three people from a distance who represented every other person I had ever met.

Two women dressed in what could have been considered provocative clothes (tight jeans and sleeveless shirts, etc...) were walking in the street - I'd just like to add that they were basically asking for a verbal harrassing by walking in the street they had chosen. To walk in front of a coffee shop filled with unemployed, middle aged, sexually frustrated men wearing tight jeans is like signing your own deathcertificate - Anyway, the whole street began to verbally abuse them, whistle, hiss at them, all them whores, prostitutes, etc...which left them cursing at the men and then crying by the time they had passed that street. Not long after, an old woman, who seemed to have grown up during a better time, screamed at the men at the top of whatever was left of her lungs about how what they were doing was wrong and unsophisticated.

Here's my conclusion from all this. The two girls represent the inredibly naive part of society, who sould know where to be and where to avoid at all costs. The men, of course, need no further explanation. And the old woman, who despite her good intentions, couldn't just keep her nose out of other people's business.

As impossible as this may sound, if everyone just minded their own business (letting people wear whatthey want without making a huge scene, etc...) we wouldn't have all these problems. I suppose a person could express disapproval of something, as is his/her right, but not by making everyone stare at someone for it, or make a scene by shouting for the whole world to hear about it. But I also think thatthissort of behavior is second nature to most people, and it would be naive to think thatthey would be willing to do otherwise. After all, who doesn't enjoy a nice big scene.

Practice what you preach.

A petty yet significant problem left me in a moral dilemma yesterday. In short, I posted a photo of a friend and myself on my facebook account. A cousin of mine happened to tell me that she thought my friend looked cute in his T-shirt. (which I later mentioned to the friend but changed the details by saying it the cousin's 4-year-old sister who had said that about him - don't ask me why the hell I even told him, sometimes I don't think) Anyway, the comments reached facebook and my cousin saw them and was extremely upset.
Nevertheless, I explained the situation and all was back to normal. Later that same day the friend posted a comment on the photo that I personally had no objection to, but would cause significant trouble if it got out.
So I was now faced with two choices: 1)To leave the comment and endure the concequences and embarrassment over this petty issue with my family for the next week, or 2) Go against all I believe and delete the comment - which I have nothing against - and save myself all the trouble, which would make me a hypocrite.
I went, after long deliberation, with number (2). :( I felt that I wasn't practicing what I preached, and this blog is meaningless if I go against what I believe at such a trivial issue such as this one. Needless to say, I felt bad about it, but felt good that I'd saved a lot of time that would have gone to arguing for soemthing more useful.

So does this make me a hypocrite? I don't know. But I did the right thing according to my own judgement.

Autobiography

Someone requested a short account on my upbringing and childhood, so I thought I'd add it here as a post for everyone to see. Don't worry, I'll keep it short.

I grew up in a small compound in Tabuk, Saudi Arabia surrounded by many of the world's nationalities. I think the fact that I was surrounded by such a diverse group of people at such a young age made me appreciate people for who they really are, rather than stereotypically label both them and their culture.
Around the time when I turned 10 I returned to Egypt for good, only to visit my dad in the Arab Gulf during the summer where he worked full time. The transition was, for me, extremely difficult. The people were different, the culture nothing like what I saw used to. I even had to transition from speaking only in English, to speaking in Arabic with classmates. This made me very uneasy and somewhat of a loner during my first 2 years or so. I think that the fact that no one sat me down and explained to me what that transition would be like, or what was expected of me made me unaware of what was to come, making me so awkward socially.
Nonetheless, I eventually got the hang of things by the end of middle school, and became more outgoing, making sure that people respect me for who I am, and not judge me because I'm different.
Today, after my first year of college, I've become what I'd have wanted to become when I first arrived here. I think I could have had much more amusing childhood experiences had I not been so...well, you get the point.

That's me in a nutshell, any comments are welcome.

Clear-cut differences

Since I've already said all that I've been needing to say about the topic that has dominated this blog for the past week or so, I've decided to shift gears a bit and tackle a new issue that has recently come to my attention.

In my recent trip to Cairo (Egypt's capital, in case anyone was wondering), something interesting came to my attention. As I stood at the top of the highest hill in the Al-Azhar Park and gazed at all of Cairo, one thing became incredibly clear to me: the unbelievably obvious distinction between the poor and the rich within the city.
To my left, I could see the Cairo Tower, the Nile-view 5-star luxury hotels, and the richest and most upper-class neighborhoods of Cairo. To my right, however, I could see the most miserable, pathetic looking "houses" - if they could even be called that - I had ever witnessed in my whole life. The cemeteries had become homes to the homeless, the slums were so filthy and germ infested that I could literally smell them from that distance.
As I drove across the 6th of October bridge entering Zamalek Island (The equivalent of New York's Upper East side or 5th Avenue) I was glad to see that Cairo had such a beautifully decorated place, with meadows, parks, and all the world's luxuries. Past the island and accross the greenery, I was bombarded with unmistakable stench of urine, and horse feces, which marked the entrance of the place of residence of the most wretched people to ever walk the Earth, where a room as big as a prison cell would have to fit 15 people or more at a time, where people slept on the floor, and played only with the rats that shared their home.

What amazed me was not that there were both rich and poor, but the fact that the difference was so incredibly obvious, that the two worlds, although practically neighbors, have never collided with one another, that people can actually be content in living the way they do in the slums, or be able to live in their luxury duplexes with an eye-opening view of Cairo's cemetery homes in the distance.

In the picture I've provided with this post, you can admire the best of both worlds. At a closer distance, you can see Cairo's most despicable slums. Further back, towards the end, near the crsytal blue sky, you can see the luxury residential towers, the Cairo tower to the left, and a few government institutions located by the Nile.

Today at an on-campus birthday party, I was overcome by a feeling that I don't understand. I was peacefully eavesdropping on two of my non-guy friends who were attending a party when I was unfortunate enough to hear an extremely unpleasant conversation. I think that I was bothered by the fact that I found this to be a perfectly normal conversation.

The girl's brother found a saved MSN messenger conversation between a guy with us in college and herself. She feels like she's betrayed his trust by speaking to a guy outside the walls of campus, and now she's devastated that he thinks of her in a new light. but here's what I found interesting: She has no problem with the whole thing. I mean, the fact that she actually did talk to him on the internet isn't an issue for her. She just thinks that now he'll never look at her the same way again. In other words, she's not convinced with what she's doing, but she's really just doing it out of fear of being labeled as something she's not.

What made me more certain of that conclusion was that when the girls were picking a place to go have lunch, they joked that we should go with them, but stay a few tables away from them. In other words, they were trying to be sublte about thinking of ways to go out with us. However, the stigma of being seen with members of the opposite sex was too much for them to handle, and the idea was aborted. (Even when we were all on our way to the main road to go home, they sped up ahead of us so as not to be seen with us)

The conclusion I've drawn from these stories is simple. The issue isn't that the girls feel that what they are doing is the right thing, and that to remain respectable within the community they have to do what they do. The only reason they do all that is because they've been fed all of it since they were too yound to remeber, so it really becomes an everyday thing for them. That plus the fact that everyone else thinks in the same way makes them too afraid to defy the norm and be labelled as "free" girls. But what I find most unpleasant is how this way of thinking has found its way into the internet. If they're afraid that their parents would find out about their relationships with guys, then the internet is a safe place for them where the parents can't find them. And if they really want to be safe, then they shouldn't save the online conversations.

But my greatest regret was being forced to pay 30 pounds for a present that was so unbeleivabley ugly. They'd better not get me anything like that on my bithday. :)

"She's my sister!"

So far in this blog, I have failed to mention the role of the male counterpart of the subject of my blog.

"She's my sister!"

This sentence, I once thought, was something I would only hear on a show like 'Friends' when Ross found out that Chandler was having sex with his sister Monica. However, it has recently come to my attention that I am, as always, greatly mistaken.

Recently I've learned two new lessons in life. One: I goes unsaid that my male friends are not supposed to see pictures of my sister.
One Monday morning, I was standing with a group of friends (of both sexes) just talking. A guy decides to take out pictures of family members and show them to us, one of which was a picture of his little sister. I assumed that the pictures would go around us all and held my hand out to the person next to me. Suddenly the owner of the pictures tell me: "You can't, dude! She's my sister!" Till now I still don't understand why. It can't be because of the only reason I can think of because she's way too young (around 13), and I just can't find an explanation for it. So I'm left with this life lesson: Be unwilling to show guys pictures of your sister.

The second lesson was a result of the following event:
A friend of mine was telling me about his little sister who happened to go to the same high school as I did last year. Later that day I met a cousin who is also a student at the same school, and asked conversationally: "Is there a girl named so-and-so in your class?" after which he said "No."
A few days later I told the friend that no one seems to know his sister there. And the would not be lying if I said that I was absolutely amazed by the reaction. He said angrily: "How could you ask about my sister like that? She's my sister for God's sakes!"
So lesson number two: Never mention a friend's sister to anyone else other than the brother.

Will someone please objectively explain those two events for me. Were those reactions reasonable? I don't know how a brother would feel in a situation like that because I only have brothers, so I can't judge. So if you can help me with that part, please do. Because if they were just being a little overprotective, I'd like to know. I don't want to draw conclusions about people before knowing the whole story.

I know this much though:
I as a male have the advantage of being able to engage in any sort of sexual activity because there is no medical method to determine if I actually did or not. This results in the fact that when a guy has sex before marriage, it's called "youth", but when a girl does it, she's a whore (I do not condone either case, so in my mind both are whores).
I don't think that the save "advantage" as men, but that men be stripped of it altogether, in order to make it equal. If a man is to demand a "pure" wife, then I think it's only fair that he be the same. Or am I mistaken.

"Free"

One of the many English words that have crept their way into Egyptian culture is the word "free". However, not in the meaning that the word usually implies, but a new meaning, in the minds of the Egyptian community: Liberal or Defiant of the local morals and beliefs (which I have been called many times because of what I have to say about my countries culture.)

A "free" woman can be described as follows: A woman who is not afraid to mingle with the opposite sex in and out of the work environment. Someone who does not turn red at the mention of a swearword in front of her. A woman that stays out the house alone or with friends past 7 o'clock.

These woman are considered, for the lack of a better word, infidels. Or just people who defy the norm. People who have been corrupted by western media.

However, their demand for equal rights within society does not pass this point. Hardly any women have the courage to defy their parents or question the reasons behind such beliefs, and many do not dare escape an arranged marriage.

As for marriage, it usually goes like this: A woman, "free" or not, is approached by a man frim within her college community or workplace, who then tries as hard as possible to win her over with romantic dinner behind her parents backs. Once the woman feels like her parents are beginning to notice, she asks her "boyfriend" to propose and ask for her hand in marriage. (That's usually within 3 months of their first meeting).
Another common method is for a man to see a woman he liked in the street or any other place, find out where she lives, and fo ask her father directly to marry the daughter. In most cases, the woman has a choice to marry or not to marry, yet it the more secluded societies of upper Egypt, it's not a possibility.

Hope this answered all your questions. :)

You make a good point about the actual reason why they seem to act in the way they do. But I have a little to say about it.
Although religion plays an important role in the issue, I doubt that it's the principal cause of the problem. What I believe to be the issue here is not the dictations of a certain religion, but the misconceptions people have about it, and the social morals which were later derived from them.
Let me elaborate with a simple example:
In Islam (the predominant religion in my region) women are required to wear a head scarf. A HEAD scarf, not the head to toe blanket that you might find women here, in Pakistan, Afghanistan, or Iran wearing. This is a perfect example of what happens in our society; people are given a certain rule to apply to daily life, which they misunderstand, and thus build upon them the most peculiar superstitions and beliefs, which is what I think happened with the issue I've been discussing.
It is encouraged that opposite sexes try not to be around one another for too long, or for something other than work, etc... This of course was taken out of context and became: "A woman must never coem in any sort of contact with a male unless she is to be wed to that man. The only contact should be extremely brief, and avoided altogether if possible."
Is this just ignorance that has been passed down from generation to the next? Or is there more to it that I don't understand? I hope you can help me figure this out...

Overboard

When it comes to the opposite sex, I'm clueless. Especially the Egyptian type. There are so many things that baffle me when it comes to their personalities, thoughts, and everyday interactions. Not to mention the fact that they know nothing of moderation. Let me elaborate:

It's not uncommon for most of them to not have any contact with the opposite sex, thinking that it would be damaging to their reputations. Many of them refuse to shake hands with a male, and are not afraid to embarrass you if you hold out your own hand. They have an unnatural phobia of being photographed, which is understandable in many cases, however, if you're fully clothed and not in a compromising position, I don't see what the problem is. Am I wrong? Here's something that left me both confused and frustrated at the same time. It was a friend's birthday party (which was held inside campus because the girls didn't want to be seen with us boys outside the university walls) and alot of pictures were taken. They absolutely refused to let us leave until all the pictures were transferred from the cell phone of the guy who took the pictures to the phones of the girls. Am I wrong in thinking that they went a little overboard with the whole chastity thing? Or was that reasonable? Naturally when I asked them if they trusted us with the pictutures or not, they had nothing to say but "um...err..."

There is one thing I know for sure. They are not in the least convinced that what they are doing is the right thing. They only do it because it's all they know how to do, and because that's what their society dictates. They never have a clear-cut answer to anything. For example:
Me: "What exactly is the big deal for you to be seen with me in the street?"
Her: "Um..well...you know.."
Me: "No, I don't."
Her: "It's just...not propper."
Me: "why?"
Her: "......."

I think I can sum up this post in a few sentences. Egyptian females are petty, and can't think for themselves. And I feel sorry for them.

Before I get to what it is I want to say, I want to make it perfectly clear that I'm not some women's rights activist. I merely have something to say about a certain issue.

Living in this part of the world means that I have to deal with people with the most appalling opinions and beliefs on every topic there is. However, there was one that really caught my eye.

In the Egyptian community, a woman's most prized possession is her "purity" or, to make this as blunt as possible, her virginity. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely agree with that opinion, yet I must address a handful of issues.

First, I find it a mystery how people can be so preoccupied by a thin layer of mucus; the Hymen. Some people are so uneducated about sex that they have inherited old wives tales such as that which said that the blood expelled on a virgin's first time smells like musk. Another amusing superstition says that the more you bleed, the purer you are, which can literally break up a marriage because a newly wed groom might think his bride is not as pure as she should be.

Second, I usually hear this whenever I eavesdrop on any two guys talking: "Yeah, I've picked a really pretty virgin to be my wife." "How do you really know? Maybe she had an operation!"
As for that, I'd like to say one thing. According to Egypt's leading sexologist, Dr. Heba Kotb, a hymen restoration such as the one referred to in the previous quotation is only good for 48 hours. So you be the judge. Where will a woman find a doctor, book an OR, have an operation, recover under observation in the hospital all within 2 days of the wedding night. I find it highly unpractical, and difficult to achieve without anyone taking notice. Even if the operation goes undetected, the slightest bump to the area can and will cause the implant to fall, due to its fragile nature.

Finally, the most important issue I'd like to address. The subject of rape.
It really makes me sad that I live in a country where not only would a man refuse to marry a woman that has been raped with the excuse that "someone has already had her.", but a man would have no trouble whatsoever to completely abandon his fiancee or girlfriend after such an incident, hiding behind the same lame excuse.

I just want to ask, is this the scale by which we measure purity and honour? I'm trying to say that we should not stress the presence of a piece of mucus, but we should concentrate on what that thing actually means; what it represents!

I'd like to end this with a sort of disclaimer. I don't want to be bashed and flamed for praising sex before marriage. I'm a traditional guy with pretty conservative views. I plan to marry a virgin, and I am one myself. But I just wanted to say that sometimes people go a little to far with things like this.

waiting for your feedback...