Friday, August 1, 2008

To beat or not to beat?

All new parents ask themselves this question when they have their kids. As damaging to a child as it can be in one case, it can do wonders for another child. So is it moral to hit a child if you think more good can come out of it than bad? I see it in the street all the time.

For example, a woman slapped her 8-year-old daughter across the face in front of everyone in the supermarket because she had wondered off by herself twice, and had her really worried. I can understand the mother's concern, yet was it necessary to make a scene and upset the child like that? Wouldn't simply reprimanding the girl in a harsh advisory tone been sufficient? But I'm pretty sure that little girl won't be wondering off by herself again any time soon.

Then again, there are others. A doorman beat his 7-year-old son to a pulp right in my face because he didn't want to go see what someone living in the building he worked in wanted from him, or something of the sort, I couldn't really tell. In this case, I sympathized more with the little boy, right until he called his dad an asshole, because the reason behind the beating was, in my humble opinion, trivial.

Of all my brothers, I am the only one who was never laid a hand on. Of course, there was the occasional slapping and/or verbal reprimanding, but it was nothing that I would ever hold against them. I asked myself why I had the good fortune to escape such a fate, and came up with what I think is the correct reason. I know when to quit! I can talk back, and "defy" them or whatever you want to call it all I want, but I know when it's time to call it a day. I've never crossed any line (although I might have put a toe or two across it a few times). Anyway, that's how I see it.

Back to the topic at hand, is it moral to hit your kids? If so, to what age should this be restricted, and why? What do parents mean when they say: "I turned out fine!"? I, for one, can challenge that statement when it comes to certain people I know.

People talk about the psychological damage that it causes to people, but what exactly is that damage? All I've seen, in a few parents, an inferiority complex that makes them want to take it out on other people because it was done to them, or so it seems.

To beat or not to beat? That is the question. =)

1 comment:

Unknown said...

I think if a kid is really bad then a slapping is fine but not when they are in public.